Snow Canyon Half Marathon

Last weekend, Curtis and I both ran our second half marathon. For him, it was the same race as last year but it was all new to me!  It was rather last minute deciding to since Curtis does trade with the city races and was able to sign us up for free.  I hadn't trained great at all and only managed a 7 mile run as my longest.  I knew it was primarily downhill so I figured I might as well give it a shot!  I was sick with anxiety days before and I should have taken that as a warning on what was to come! I was feeling OK on the bus ride to the start line and even after the race began was I doing OK!  I knew Curtis could be way faster than me and I wanted him to have a chance at beating his PR from last year so I told him to go ahead and just be there for me as I crossed the finish line.  

After about 3 miles, the course turns into Snow Canyon State Park and immediately you start downhill.  I was unprepared for how difficult running downhill could be on your body!  I was doing pretty good until about mile 7 and then I hit a wall. The course was going through some rolling hills and after 4 miles of straight downhill, my feet and legs were feeling it!  I hadn't wanted to walk at all, but I found myself needing small breaks in order to keep going. At one point, I literally thought about just quitting, only problem was I didn't have my phone and I was still a long ways out!  It was hard and the course was unknown to me which made it feel that much longer in spots.

At mile 10, I hit another wall and stopped for a drink and short walk and then pushed on again.  I felt like I was going so slow and I hated that I had to stop, but my feet were killing me and felt like I had blisters on the bottom.  Every step I took felt like I was running on tiny shards of glass and sand. When I hit mile 12, the song "on my own" from Les Miserables came on my play list.  I had to force myself to hold back tears as I was about to hyperventilate. 

"On my own, pretending he's beside me,

all alone, I walk with him till morning.

Without him, I feel his arms around me,

And when I lose my way, I close my eyes and he has found me."

It was in that moment that I prayed...to be able to finish, to see Curtis, and to believe in myself.  I knew Curtis was done and kept hoping I'd see him walking back on the course to find me, to help me finish.  I couldn't let myself walk at all that last mile, I already knew I'd regret walking at all once I finished and I needed to finish as strong as possible.  The finish line was in sight and all that was left was one lap around the high school track!  As I stepped on the track and saw the people cheering, my emotions took over. And then I saw Curtis, standing next to my sister in law, Mandy who also ran and they were cheering me on.  Curtis must have known the pain in my face because he took my hand as I passed him and helped me run that last lap!  I had done it. My time wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be although it wasn't what I was hoping for either.

 2:06.

 With all the walking I did in spots, I must have been doing well enough running to help make up for it.      I immediately took my shoes off and saw the blister on the side of my big toe. I had finished the race. Against all the negative thoughts, throbbing feet, and aching legs, I had finished the race. 

This man is my biggest cheer leader and I couldn't have done it without him!

 This race taught me a lot about not giving up and pushing through even when I wanted to quit. And I'm glad I did.  I proved it to myself and that is most important.

 I could barely move the next day. My feet were sore, my blister hurt and I was pretty negative about how the race had gone overall. But I'm so glad I did it.  I will do another. I'll buy new shoes first and then I'll train harder, but I'm shooting for one in January.

I still don't feel like a runner, although some may say I am.  I enjoy more than anything the thrill of overcoming something that, in the moment, feels impossible to me.  I love that Curtis and I are doing this together and that we share the passion. It may be one of the hardest races I do, but it may also be one of my most memorable. I proved a lot to myself on that course and I learned even more.  

Until the next race...