I had another one of those "mommy moments" today while I was driving home from the store with the kids. The past couple weeks have been interesting to say the least and I think part of me is in denial. When asked how its going, I say "its actually not too bad, the kids are adjusting well", but deep down I think I'm struggling more than I would like to admit. Between living in 900 square feet with no stove or freezer, having 2 kids throwing up, stressing about things getting over looked on our home, and really stressing about the reality of having a home and all that comes with it, I've slowly started to become extremely overwhelmed. It's been a learning and growing experience, and today was one of those days when my kids seemed to bring me back down from stress world.
Kelly Clarkson's, My Life Would Suck Without You, came on the radio and I turned it up. Pretty soon a choir erupted from the back seat and it made me smile. Taylor was belting out the lyrics from her carseat, while her brother Boston watched her and mimiced...in just as loud of a voice, his version of the song. For some reason, maybe due to the fact I'm an emotional basket case trying to hold it all in, tears welled up in my eyes. It was in that moment that I realized that truly, my life would suck without those two. They are what is important, and somehow; in doing something so silly and expected of them, they taught me a lesson. Enjoying each day tends to get put on the back burner when dealing with the stressful things of life. Its seems ironic to me that children, who really don't comprehend stress the way we do, can make us feel, in just an instant, that everything will be fine.
That's how I felt at that moment. That's why I cried. Things have fallen into place so well for us, and yet; I still question our decision when things get stressful. My husband is always promising that everything will work out, that it's not always easy, but worth it. In my head, I completely agree. Yet, the "getting there" part always seems to cloud the end result and the assurance you once had.
That moment in the car today was all I needed to get back to that good place. Somehow, He obviously knew I needed it, and allowed my kids to be the messenger. For that I am grateful.
Here are the words that is some random way, brought me to tears along with the wonderful sound of children's voices.
'Cause we belong together now, yeah
Forever united here somehow, yeah
You got a piece of me And honestly,
My life (my life) would suck (would suck) without you
Maybe I was stupid for telling you goodbye
Maybe I was wrong for tryin' to pick a fight
I know that I've got issues
But you're pretty messed up too
Either way, I found out I'm nothing without you
For Taylor and Boston.....my life would suck without you:)
4 comments:
Such a cute/sweet moment! Thanks for sharing! Hang in there with the living situation.
Marissa,
Thanks for bringing tears to my eyes. You really missed your calling as a writer. Its the eternal perspective that is important and that is what the kids reminded you of today. We love you tons!
I am learning that you and I are a lot alike, and Curtis sounds a lot like Geran! I'm so sorry that you have so much stress, I can't imagine having to do the things that you are doing. When you feel up to it lets get together. My kids could really use someone to play with:) Please let me know if I can do anything for you!
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